Ten Fashion Rules, and Other Bullshit

Don't you just hate going through a fashion mag, seeing the pages and pages of dos and don'ts, what's hot and what's not, wear-this-with-that, and OMG-WTF-is-she/he-wearing sections, after which you come to some pithy article where someone says something to the effect of: But never let anyone tell you what to wear! Fashion rules are meant to be broken! Wear what YOU want! Clothes are just clothes!

Hello? You just spent a hundred plus pages telling me exactly what to wear, why to wear it, never-mix-this-with-that, and that basically, being seen in the right outfit is the be-all and end-all of life.

So let's not pretend you give a fig about my opinion and self-esteem. The multi-billion dollar industry of fashion is not founded on letting people think for themselves. Or you would never, EVER be able to get away with charging people P150,000 for a frikking bag.

An Open Letter to Manila's Taxi Drivers

I realize I've been spewing bile about taxi drivers often and with increasing intensity on Facebook. So why don't we coalesce the venom into a well-worded(?) entry on this here blog?

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Dear manong taxi driver, what you do is your job. You're not doing a free public service or an act of great humanitarian kindness. I. Am. Paying. You. Ergo, it behooves you to: Do. Your. Job.

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Just as I do not get to demand an additional fifty or hundred or (holy shiyet) the doubling of my pay from my boss for doing what I've been hired to do, so do I not see the logic of you getting to do the same from me when I get in your taxi. You are not doing me a favor. Again: You are doing your job. So I see no reason for me to have to pay you more.

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The meter is not a suggestion. It is an integral part of your taxi. If you are averse to using it, feel free to inform me, upon which time I shall rip it out of your dashboard and beat you to death with it.

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It is not my fault if (a) there is a traffic jam, (b) I live far away, or (c) I live inside a subdivision. Driving through traffic jams to get to farwaway subdivisions is part of your job as a taxi DRIVER. If you do not like driving, I suggest you commence a bit of soul-searching on what you want to do in life. If you want to drive people to nearby places where there isn't any traffic, I suggest you become a pedicab driver. Alternatively, I could just walk if I wanted to go somewhere nearby. Alternatively, I could just knee you in the groin instead of having to suffer through the pain of your mouth-flapping.

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Your taxi is not a toilet on wheels. I do not like smelling your piss on the doors the whole ride when I am about to pay you anywhere between P100-300 to take me somewhere.

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Your taxi is not a shuttle service. I am riding it specifically because I do not want to cram into a bus/jeepney/FX with one-fourth of the world's adults. So do not ask me if I want to share a cab with someone because I am going somewhere far and you lose on fare if it's just me riding. If you're losing on fare, then petition the LTFRB. I do not set meter rates.

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If you are a colorum (read: illegal) taxi, then do not dare ask me for twice the normal rate. You are breaking the law and should be getting fined heavily/molested by a bald, burly man in a city jail. The fact that you are not, and hence, are able to ply your illegal trade should make you grateful. Hence, don't push your luck.

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If you have no intention of approaching the taxi line at malls, do not idle nearby hoping someone will leave the line, in full view of everyone who has been patiently waiting, to come to you and agree to your illegal kontrata rate. We may instead leave the line en masse and burn your taxi down.

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And do not, DO NOT assume that my small bit of change is yours to keep. If I wanted to tip you, I would say so. Usually, I don't tip purveyors of bad service. Usually, I want to dismember them.

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Yes, I know the boundary system for fares is unfair. But jeepney drivers have to suffer through it too, and they get to charge far, far less than you. Yet they wouldn't for a second consider asking for additional fare, and they would probably get the shit kicked out of them if they did. So I fail to understand why you think you can.

I didn't invent this weird system. So I shouldn't be punished for it eh?

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Of late, your thievery has become even more brazen. I cannot remember the last time I got in a cab and just had the driver turn on the meter and not ask me for anything additional. In fact, I cannot remember the last time I didn't have to give an additional P50 to one of you thieves. And hey, now I hear that, in addition to cheating passengers on fare, you now particpate in hold-ups and full-on robberies of passengers. Nice.

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I think the more people that get screwed over by you guys, the higher the levels of homicidal rage in Manila will grow. It is useless to petition the LTFRB, which, from what I gather, is as corrupt/inept as any license-granting/regulatory agency in the government.

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Maybe it will take one of you taxi drivers getting hacked to pieces by a fed-up passenger before you realize this truth: commuting in Manila is hell. And you do NOT want to piss off us poor sods who are forced to trudge down these infernal streets.

The only way Gibo is going to take this election

... is if he takes his cue from the Joker's campaign strategy:


Ay wait. I shouldn't give the corrupt administration juggernaut supporting him any ideas ano? Baka totohanin. Si (gulp) Ronnie Puno pa naman running mate niya hehe.

Kung gusto ko ng kwentong barbero...

... aba, magpapagupit ako!

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Mula sa SONA - Bumaba daw ang inflation? Ang unemployment? In fact, this is the best time daw for the economy in five presidencies? Ano daw? Hello? Saang Pilipinas yan Gloria? I don't think it's the Philippines I'm living in. Baka alternate reality yan kasi yung Pilipinas na ginagalawan ko ay mahirap. At patuloy na naghihirap dahil ikaw ang nakaupo. 'Wag tayo maggaguhan ha?

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Mula sa New York at Washington - "I didn't pay for those dinners!" Talaga lang ha? Well, according to this columnist I read, aba, graft pa rin daw ang tumanggap ng gifts over a certain amount. And I think a P1 million dinner is WAY over that amount.

Aba, at dapat daw magpasalamat tayo dahil limpak-limpak na investments daw ang dinudulot ng pagje-jet-setting ni Madam President. Ows. E bakit according to a recent report I read, one of the ten hardest places in the world to set up a business daw ang Pilipinas? At according to yet another recent business-investment-ranking-survey thingy, the Global Competitiveness Index na ginagawa ng World Economic Forum, e lalong bumaba ang ranking ng Pilipinas dahil sa (guess what?) CORRUPTION! How surprising. Number 87 daw tayo down from 71 last year. Nag-drop. Again. As usual.

At kung totoo man na maraming nag-i-invest dito dahil sa paggagala ni Madam President, bakit, nakakakain ba ang investor confidence hmmm? I believe we have one of the highest hunger incidences in the history of the country now. So, kung totoo man na dumadagsa ang mga dayuhan dito para magpatayo ng pabrika at kung anu-ano pa, e wala pa rin ito sa mga nagugutom nating mga kapatid.

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Mula sa California at New York - Aber! At may bahay ang magkapatid na Arroyo sa Istates-side! At hindi ma-explain ni Mikey Arroyo kung bakit! In fairness kay Mikey, matapang siya. Ayaw niya ng phone patch. Gusto niya talaga live, in-studio, with (wait for it...) Winnie Monsod! O baka bobo lang talaga siya...

Kasi naman hijo, don't lie about money to an economist! Bobo! At least yung nanay mo magaling magsinungaling kaya di nahuhuli. E ikaw, mana ka ata sa ama mo. Tsk tsk. I can just see Gloria slapping her forehead in frustration while watching that interview.

Hindi mo napanood? Dahil mahal ko kayo, etong sa 'yo!

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Segue muna - Hindi ba na-pi-piss off ang mga Kano na palaging nadadawit ang pangalan ng bansa nila sa mga iskandalo ng Presidente? Mukhang mahilig ata talagang magkalat sa States ang Pamilyang Arroyo. Curious lang.

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Meanwhile, hindi daw makahanap ng candidate ang administrasyon for next year. Si Gibo lang at si Bayani ang pagpipiliin na, if we go by surveys, e hindi ata alam ng mayorya ng taumbayan na nag-e-exist sila. At ilang pa raw si Kabayan na sumali sa kanila. Edi good! Kung suswertehin tayo, mangyayari sa kanila ang nangyari sa oposisyon last elections, na natalo dahil watak-watak at walang ma-put forward na isang kandidato lang.

Sana nga mangyari yun, para hindi na natin kakailanganin na pakinggan pang muli ang mga kwentong barbero ng Pamilyang Arroyo. Leche.

Gone

I was going to write a bitchy column about the SONA. But that can wait for now.

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You know how you never really realize someone was there, protecting you, protecting your freedoms, until they're gone?

And when they're gone, then you realize how big they were, how important, how much you needed them.

And now you're alone.

That's how I feel about Cory.

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I was barely around for her presidency. My family left the Philippines after EDSA 1. When we came back, it was almost 1992. But I have seen her since, speaking when the nation needed her to, but always retreating to her private life after, so unlike the attention-hungry toads that populate the government now.

She may not have been a brilliant economist or a whipcracker of men, but she was an example of restraint, of selfless service, an example none of our presidents since her has taken.

And now she's gone.

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Over the years, I've read the criticism of her, that she didn't do enough economically, that her CARP was half-baked, that her family's own lands got away from under it. And maybe this is all valid.

But I think, first and foremost, Cory had it in her head to restore democracy and democratic institutions to this country, so that the next president could get on with the economic stuff. And that was a big job, especially after the shambles twenty years of dictatorship had left the country in.

And she did it.

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And always, always, people say: she stepped down. She gave up her power, and did not cling to it like it would kill her to give up, like so many of our self-serving politicians now.

Power, I think, is like water. When you cup it gently in your hands, you are able to hold it for a while. But when you try to grab it, grasp it, it slips through your fingers and flows away.

To get power, I think, you must not want it in the first place. You must hold it gently and, when you pass it along to the next person, it doesn't hurt to do so. But when you greedily grasp for it, you will spend your whole life fighting to hold on to it, and you'll lose it anyway.

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Cory held her power gently like water. And when she gave it away, she gave it with gladness in her heart. But she never really lost it, not the power she had in our hearts. The power she showed us we all had.

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I joke that one of the few times I cry is when political leaders die. It's not some macho thing; my whole family, girls and boys, was not brought up to be particularly emotional or affectionate, so crying isn't really something we do. But I really do cry sometimes when leaders die. I cried when John Paul II died, and I cried when Yasser Arafat died.

I cry because they stand for something and are now gone. I cry for the orphaned people they leave behind who have no leaders to look up to.

And I cried yesterday, watching that mass on the last morning. For all of the above reasons and more. But I don't think I've cried like that in a while.

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I'm not a religious person. I'm not even a Catholic. But I sat through a beautiful homily during that mass by a Father Arevalo, scribbled on pieces of yellow pad paper, I noted, amused.

And he said something I will not forget. He said, "There is darkness in our land because you are gone. But we know, we have enough light within us because you have shared with us your fire."

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So light the fire. And never forget what she gave us.

Because she is gone.

Because now we are alone. And we only have ourselves, each other, to find our way through the darkness now.

I love my country

You know why? Because of signs like this:

I love it hahaha! And I love whoever invented the camera phone!

I hope no one saw me taking pictures of the sign in the toilet though (not the best place to be snapping away). I wouldn't want people to think I was up to something pervy hehe...

Mga Bobo sa Senado

My Senate is such a hive of idiots...

Hello?! Pay attention fools! Congress is trying to destroy you with Cha-cha, but you idiots are so busy fighting with each other, you haven't even noticed. By this time next year, you probably won't exist anymore.

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I didn't realize that whole ethics committee investigation is trying to expel Villar from the Senate. Ganun? First you ass-kick him from the Senate presidency (and replace him with that corpse Enrile. And seriously, who are the fools repeatedly electing him and people like Gordon into office? Gawd.) Now you're trying to remove him completely from the Senate? This is clearly the work of threatened presidential aspirants.

Not that I'm a big Villar fan, mind, but I take any accusation of corruption against already-previously wealthy (as in prior to his entry into politics) senators, who stand a good chance of taking the presidency next year (and away from a horde of other salivating aspirants in the Upper House too) with a block of salt. Maybe he's guilty, maybe he isn't. But isn't this a question for the Ombudsman and Sandiganbayan to investigate? Him being investigated by his fellow senators, who make barely any attempts to disguise their rivalry with him, is suspect, to say the least.

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And who filed this complaint? Jamby Madrigal? Sus! I've always had the impression that lady wasn't playing with a full deck of cards. Have you seen her talk? I have, and in person. And it was weird. And hello? What has she done ba in all her time in the Senate? If she wasn't ferociously contesting her dead aunt's will, she wouldn't be in the news at all.

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Meanwhile, Congress has come up with (how many now? three? four?) new ways to railroad Cha-cha. Melo is talking about a possible no-election scenario. Lorelei Fajardo, one of President Bitch's six (count 'em: six!) spokespersons has said words to the effect of: Prime Minister Arroyo? Why not? She's been a good president (and that last bit I most definitely take issue with). Pay attention senators! If Cha-cha passes, there won't be an Upper House for you people to fight in anymore! And I highly doubt you fools will be able to get any seats in a Parliament if our government system goes there.

Mga tanga! Mga bobo! Get your acts together! Stop investigating shit! You're not the bloody courts. Kaya nga may judiciary e.