Pointlessness and the Celebrity "Writer"

Since when did celebrity, instead of actual writing ability, become a reason to give someone a column? Do we really need to read about the self-indulgences of the elite?

I've said this before and I'll say it again. Back in my writing days, I was taught that what you put out must always be relevant. The reader must not go through it and think, "Now there's fifteen minutes of my life I'm never getting back."

I don't see how a newspaper that puts out what is, in my opinion, the best news and opinion section in the country, can have such a self-absorbed lifestyle section.

KC honey, iba ang blog sa article. You cannot get all vague and philosophical in your column without stating a reason. You have to state a specific event that triggered all your deep realizations, or you're just going to bore people. And really, no one's going to care about your existential angst unless they can relate to it. You can't go on and on about theater and theater classes unless you can bring it to a universal level. Otherwise, you're just being self-indulgent, and we don't have time for that. We actually had to pay good money to read this paper. I could have gotten a Coke litro instead. A really good Inquirer columnist calls it MEGO syndrome, Mine-Eyes-Glaze-Over, for when you're reading something and it just goes over your head, or bores you silly. See if you can make heads or tails of it. I couldn't. KC's blog that I paid 19 pesos for.

Ah but Tim Yap always, always takes the cake. Inquirer had a great section on the youth's reaction to Pakshet Procalamation 1017 and I tip my hat to them. But somehow, this piece of crap got lost in it.

Para daw kasing walang nangyari sabi ni Mama Tim. Nagpunta daw kasi siyang Fort at tuloy ang party d'un. Nagpunta daw siyang salon sa Rustans at tuloy ang pagpapa-beauty d'un. Kasi naman Tim, as I said in another entry (and this should occur to any Filipino with half a brain): those are not the places to look if you want to bump into people who give a shit about the country. “This is a state of emergency—to party!” yelled some MC at his club. *vomits* People like this should be taken out front and shot loudly. Some American friend of his wanted to join the rally and came back with pictures, relating how he was "called Joe, like 20,000 times." Our nation's fight against a corrupt, raving-mad, power-hungry tyrant is not, like a tourist attraction.

Being at EDSA Dos, Tim "totally felt the spirit that makes us Filipinos proud." About the current protests, he says: "Except for the people in the front lines who hopefully still really care genuinely for what they’re fighting for, the rest of the hoi polloi who pollute the streets were there for other reasons. Thus, the spirit of 'fighting in the streets' has been lost." Naku Tim. The "hoi polloi"? That "pollute" the streets? Did you really just write that? Really? Do I really need any more reasons to have this man shot?

And what a sweeping statement to make. Maybe you feel better about EDSA Dos because you were there. Because everyone else was, so it was the "in" thing to do. And you feel less about the current protests because you aren't there. Because, honestly, you couldn't give a damn naman talaga. You ascribe more relevance to the one rally you were a part of so you can feel all socially-relevant. And you put down the current protests so you can rationalize away your non-participation and apathy. Don't use "fighting in the streets" in a sentence. You might burst a blood vessel.

Being able to use big words in a sentence isn't the only thing that makes a good writer good. And what the hell is hazelnut milk anyway? Plus, it doesn't hurt to actually be knowledgeable about the topic you're writing about too, 'di ba Mama Tim?

When you're given space in a daily, you're given the opportunity to reach out and influence thousands, maybe millions. It's a significant gift. And you have to be worthy of it. Being a celebrity isn't reason enough to give someone that power.