Well, the gods must be crazy and the stars must be blind

If Paris Hilton has been given the chance to start a singing career.

So let's break down her attempt at singing: the song Stars are Blind, and the accompanying video.

Now we all know Paris Hilton makes great (ahem) videos, and to all you porno fans out there, this one is no exception. Though personally, if I'd wanted to watch Paris Hilton rolling around nearly naked with a dude, I'd have gotten the 1 Night in Paris DVD. Besides, the frolicking-on-a-beach bit has been done before, by Britney, and I think, Mariah. Minus 1000 pogi points for a lack of originality.

Now, the singing, which sounds like a cheap knock-off of Gwen Stefani. I mean, come on. Still, plus 1000 pogi points for her vocal coach. Unless there's some Milli Vanilli shit going on here (read: someone else is singing and she's just lip-synching).

And the lyrics. I thought I'd seen inane crap after reading bunches of Tim Yap articles in the super-crappy Inquirer Super!, but this takes the cake. A sample:

Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
If you show me real love baby
I'll show you mine

I can make you nice and naughty
Be the devil and angel too
Got a heart and soul and body
Let's see what this love can do
Baby I'm perfect for you

Wahaha! My gawd! Minus 1000 pogi points for shit lyrics. And P.S. Paris, anyone who's seen 1 Night in Paris has seen "yours," which, according to wikipedia.org is "one of the most explicit celebrity sex videos, showing clear vaginal penetration, fellatio, and ejaculation — as well as Hilton interrupting sex to answer her mobile phone, which led to a number of parodies." So you needn't offer to "show us yours" anymore hehe.

So let's add 'em all up: -1000 pogi points + 1000 pogi points... Oh wait, yeah, we gave that to her vocal coach. So, -1000 pogi points - 1000 pogi points = -2000 pogi points! Woohoo!

Hay naku. Abyssmal, to say the least. But you know people are stupid enough to eat this crap up. Smart already has some kind of ringtone/call back tone promo going on for this song. Corporations are gods talaga. They can turn even the most talent-less ditzes into superstars.

If I'd known making a sex video would get one this famous, I might have tried it.