Burning Questions That Must Be Answered Now

1. Shouldn't they put subtitles on every time Sam Milby says something on TV in Tagalog? So people can understand what the hell he's saying? Yes, I admit, I watch Dyosa. But only because I can't stand Richard Gutierrez (and, thus, won't watch Codename: Asero). But scenes with Sam on just piss me off. What the fuck is he saying? They should get him a seriously good language coach.

2. Is that taxpayers money being used for the massive PR blitz that is President Bitch's "Ramdam ang Kaunlaran" campaign? Ramdam niyo ba talaga? Ako hindi. I'd much rather be seeing tax money being put to use in schools, housing, etc., than for putting up man-sized posters of Madam Gloria telling us that yes, there is prosperity and we should be feeling it. And I find the latest ad on TV, from the DENR and her, imploring us to take care of the environment laughable. Isn't this the same department under fire for going against its own mandate and being very anti-environment by granting questionable mining concessions to multinationals in Mindanao (among them ZTE)?

3. When the hell are they going to give us something on Lost? The pa-misteryoso effect of this show is just wearing thin now. Seriously, what has it been, like four years na? And we still know nothing about anything going on on that stupid island. If anything, I'm even more confused now. This show has the annoying habit of throwing us a tantalizing clue, then cutting to several episodes of annoying flashbacks into the personal lives of the cast. I don't give a fig about what happened to them in the past anymore. What the hell is going on on the island? Honestly, I'm not sure my interest can sustain itself in the face of my mounting annoyance.

4. Um, why the hell is Raul Gonzales still in government? He's like our answer to Dick Cheney. Honestly. His latest jaw-dropper: He told reporters that people can still appeal to one more person if they're not happy with the presidential pardons for rich criminals being thrown around. Si Jesus Christ daw. Powtah. Pwede bang itali na 'tong demonyong matanda na 'to at (more importantly) i-gag?

5. Um, who told channel 2 it could make comedy shows? I've about given up on I Love Betty La Fea. I DON'T love Betty La Fea ha? And now they have a new one: Banana Split. I sat through the entire first episode, just to be able to say that when I bitch-slap it, I do so with the authority of someone who knows. Tedious kung tedious ang mga sketch nila. After ten minutes of them going through a sketch, a (ahem) "punchline" is trotted out. Minus the punch. Dear channel 2, baka hindi niyo alam: a comedy show is supposed to actually be funny. Not corny. Bubble Gang this is NOT. Bubble Gang IS funny. But the people behind Banana Split do seem to know they're not really funny, which is probably why they didn't go up against Bubble Gang's timeslot (or day). Also why they seem to be using sexy actresses not known for comedy. Up the tits-and-ass quotient eh, para kung hindi bumenta ang jokes, at least manonood ang sang-kalalakihan. They even have 30-second-or-so dance routines in between each sketch and a commercial break. Akala ko joke din yung mga sayaw, as in may punchline, but it really is just the sexy actresses doing I'm-almost-a-stripper-but-I'm-really-not dance routines. Who wants to take bets on how long this show will last?

6. Who the hell is Hannah Montana? Nawala lang ako ng six months sa Maynila and the Disney superstar-making machine spits another one out. Hopefully she doesn't go the way of the other Disney Bitches (though if she does, it'll make for lots of fun reports on TMZ, I bet).

7. Why am I still unemployed? I'm educated, intelligent, and have unique qualifications/experiences naman (and obviously I'm supremely over-confident). Naka-tatlong interview na ako sa... (ahem). 'Wag na nating i-mention, baka ma-jinx. Pero naninigurado talaga sila ha? Meanwhile, I'm hanging around home like a twat, waiting to find out if I'm in or out, and doing sweet fuck-all. I really miss buying comics, and paying for my beers with money I've earned, instead of been given by my dad. Kaasar. Bored na bored na talaga ako, promise.

FYI: Hindi Ako Religious

Mga anak, 'wag akong padalhan ng mga religious messages sa aking inbox, mapa-Friendster pa 'yan, Facebook, o kung anu-ano pang mga site na may kinalaman sa faces at friends. Not unless na super-confident kayo na super-interesting 'yan at ma-o-override nito ang aking religious apathy.

'Wag din kayo magsabog ng mga "Jesus Loves You, Pass This To a Million People If You Love Him" messages sa bulletin board. Not unless na sigurado kayo na (a) Kristyano ang lahat ng mga nasa friend list ninyo, at (b) interesado silang lahat.

I doubt na interesado ang diyos ninyo na pinag-po-post ninyo ang kung anu-ano tungkol sa kanya across cyberspace. Bakit, may Friendster na ba si Hesus?

'Wag maging assuming. Annoying.